Movies and Television

So the good thing about having folks over for movie night is that they bring you random fun things. The bad thing is that they giggle and talk and make you miss at least a line from every scene. Dude, you would mock the sister in this movie too. That being said, "Pieces of April" is a damn cute little film. Yes, it can be sappy and predictable. Yes, some of the characters are New York City stereotypes, but it's a hell of a lot better than most indie NYC fare. I'm pretty sure this was shot with a digital camera, a technique which just works perfectly for disgustingly grainy shots of April (Katie Holmes, trying to ditch her "Dawson's Creek" image) stuffing celery up a turkey's butt. See, the premise of the movie is that over a seven hour period (or so), a hip but socially maladjusted girl tries to cook Thanksgiving dinner for her family, as her mom has some terminal illness. Except, well, she's the "first pancake", the one you're supposed to throw out. So the adventure is quite disasterous, but oh gee, in the true spirit of Thanksgiving, she gets a little help from some unexpected friends in her Harlem walkup. And her family is another trip. The mom is AMAZING (that would be Oscar nominee Patricia Clarkson) and makes the movie worthwhile. The sister is annoying as can be and the brother is adorably emo and awkward. Oliver Platt rounds out the cast nicely. And oh yeah, the crazy grandmother comes along for the station wagon ride to the city as well. So yeah, this film can be like watching a student's senior project, but still, I'd have given it an A. Some of the scenes and lines are just quirky enough to make it all worthwhile. Especially the biker dudes standing around the Thanksgiving table. Oh, nevermind.

As part of my training for Europe, I will now being watching lots of French and Italian movies. Viola!

This movie would not suffer from being watched at home. That being said, I did see it in the theater with a friend. My general feeling is that, as a high school movie, it sits quite high in the pack. As a general movie, it does not distinguish itself as a comedy or a must-see. It's popcorn entertainment with more intelligence than most. I don't remember a single masturbation joke. This movie is about as entertaining as watching "Weekend Update" -- some brutally funny moments, but hey, you're watching TV alone on a Saturday night, buddy. And it should feel that way, considering the script was by Tina Fey, chief dominatrix (I mean WRITER) over at Saturday Night Live.

Watching "Mean Girls", I couldn't help but notice that this movie looks exactly like my high school never did. It's as though the costume director shook an Urban Outfitters catalog and all these children came bounding onscreen. Lindsay Lohan has some seriously distracting curves too. She plays this brilliant yet naive transfer student. She'd been homeschooled in Africa, typical child of professors type thing, like. Everyone starts calling her "Africa". It's quite annoying. As is most of the dialog. But, like, whatever. The art kids are cool. The "Plastics" think they're cool. But of course, everyone is just insecure and oh my gawd, we have a plot of devious one-upmanship among the catty ladies. A few decent pranks and jokes here and there. Some very nice one-liners. But ... the ending is LAME. The overall effect is typical and cliched. I expected better from you, Tina Fey.

It is impossible for me to watch "Bend It Like Beckham" and not think about this film.

Also? Ewan MacGregor needs to play more hot, skinny, naked, tortured artists.

Sometimes I really love my dead gay show.

Thank you for showing James Marsters shackled to the ceiling, shirtless, and David Boreanz tastefully covered in a gauze undershirt. And thank you for being overwhelmingly random sometimes. If only we could trade in all those lame minutes in most episodes for a stellar final season.

Also? There should be a new show EVERY fall featuring all the hot actors and actresses from the cancelled shows the year before. The only rule is that this new show must not feature any of the supposed "stars" from the cancelled shows. Thusly, James Marsters = eligible, David = sorry, honey. How much would that show rock? It's like reverse Survivor.

... full review later. But don't bother going to a full priced screening. Matinee maybe. Will make an excellent DVD in several months. It's just too hard not to snicker and talk in the auditorium.

Also, if you've seen the movie, read this. It contains spoilers but mostly it's damn funny.
http://www.livejournal.com/users/cleolinda/93639.html

Is it a bad sign when you keep watching a painfully long, boring movie just for the brief glimpses of Billy Boyd as the ship's coxswain? Forget about Russell Crowe and the likeable Paul Bettany, I wanted to see more of the hot Scot. Boyd managed to film this movie between segments of "Lord of the Rings". Call it strange but it was this exchange in the Canada National Post (December 2003) that made me want to see the film:

Dominic Monaghan: I did study wushu for about eight weeks [for an upcoming film], which is really nothing. But I was able to kick over my head, which is good fun. That's a great thing about the job. Billy was doing Master and Commander and learning about knots and seamanship and when I went down to visit him in Mexico I woke up tied to my bed in half-sheep shanks and double weaves.

Billy Boyd: You usually have to pay for that kind of service.

With that thought in mind as I watched most scenes ... well, I certainly wish Russell Crowe had learned a few more knots. This movie went ON and ON. The worst part was watching them sail past the Galapagos Islands. Bettany, the ship's doctor and amateur naturalist, begs for permission to explore the islands in search of wild creatures. Alas, war must wage on and he forfeits his chance to become famous before that silly Charles Darwin. It was all too much for me. At one point I was screaming "If he picks up a damn finch I will turn off this movie RIGHT NOW." Thankfully, no finches were shown.

The rest of the plot? Basically: watch as Russell Crowe proves he has a bigger cock and a smart cock as he and his British crew chase down a rebel French ship during the Napoleon Wars. If you want to see Brits being funny on a ship, rent "Pirates of the Caribbean". If you want to see the rank and file of daily life on a grungy old British war ship, then by all means enjoy this could-have-been-great movie.